Capital J-E-A-L-O-U-S is what he is.

Ted is just a tad bitter, dontcha think? At least he admits it.

The Betting Crashers

From The Awful Truth on E! Online

Oh, dolls, before we go over to a bit of Nick 'n' Jessica rehash juice (jeez, I think even the GOP duo's photo-op bud Dubya saw that split comin'), let's hit a current couple-conundrum. One that some folks say is even heading for matrimony--though if that happens, I swear, I'll go and find a woman to get engaged to myself!

I'm talking about Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, the weirdest hookup since Michael Jackson dated Madonna. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration but not really.

I'm just not buyin' it. The couple and I have several mutual friends. These common amigos (and amigas) all attest to how close Jennifer and Vince have become--that's a given all around. But then the varying reports on just how sensual things have gotten between the two Break-Up stars begin.

No one seems to know for sure.

It's all rather mysterious, particularly with Jen telling everyone so publicly that she and the 35-year-old Vaughn (who's never been hitched) are "just friends." But then the "friends" sure do find out how to have themselves served up in intimate bod- and lip-locks for supposedly impromptu shots for the tabloids. Funny how that happens. A lot. And now this:

The couple--rumored (by the same rags that run Jen 'n' Vince's kissy photographs) to be marrying momentarily--were just seen checking into a private bungalow at the Sanctuary Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. It's a snotty little trendoid place, where one doesn't dare raise one's vocal cords beyond a whisper or a cocktail-charged chuckle.

Appropriately, Vince and Jen didn't fornicate on the golf cart that shuttled the maybe, maybe-not couple to their posh hideaway on the manicured grounds of the resort. No, Jen--casual in jeans (what else?)--didn't bother cuddling with her reported beau for the ride. Not even a peck or a paw! Gosh, Ms. A., why? 'Cause you didn't think anybody was looking?

Hell, I'm just bitter because I didn't get a stab at having Brad's baby. I'm so Eva Longoria sometimes, it's pitiful.

Regardless, this is either the most elaborate setup to sell a movie and, at the same time, help a gal get over her humiliating breakup with a movie-star ex or the talented comedians have found a kind of funky, off-the-wall true love.

Jaded P.S.: (Hey, you can hardly knock pre-box-office dalliances these days, what with Mr. and Mrs. Smith and War of the Worlds going through the mega-money roofs, as it were. Obviously, that public-figure configuring is very much in vogue again, Biz-wise.)